Similarities in family histories?

In the family histories of Crystal and Pedro, I found the feelings about my own family history within theirs. What our families have passed on to us depicts a picture of hard work and immense strength to hold on. In Crytal’s story, her great great grandmother did not surrender to the Japanese invaders in World War I when they raided her home and killed her neighbors, Crystal says: “The soldier brought the end of the gun to her grandmother's back and began to hit her with it. He also slapped her a few times across the face, my great great grandmother was unable to defend herself. After a few blows, he brought the gun in front of her grandmother with a loud donk. At that moment, my grandmother saw that her grandmother was shaking with fear with a pale face and cold sweat was dripping off the sides of her face. “ The courage to endure is admiring and makes me reflect on my own life to follow these footsteps. This stimulated the memory of my great grandpa’s agony when he was punished by Mao’s men every night to an extent where his life had no more meaning to him, and he even wanted to commit suicide. But he didn’t, he endured the suffering- although it is unfair, by moving on, he showed me that you can make life better and more enjoyable even though horrible things are occurring.

In Pedro’s story, I sensed a realization and fascination that I too had toward my family’s history. Pedro says, “It made me feel like everyone is capable of doing anything. I am not trying to say my grandpa is weak and no one but he started something with a friend. He was just one ordinary person who wanted to have fun and go explore, next thing you know the place he loved to play in and spent good times with him and his friend came to become his home.”When one creates or did something great, I often idolize them and think of them as less of a human being. When my great grandpa and my Uncle, who lost his leg through an accident at age twenty, found their way back to life- it seems impossible if it were me, just as Pedro felt when he was told of his grandpa’s creation. However, while our stories differ in physical innovation and mental innovation, both places us in the point of recognizing that our ancestors were people just like us, so we can too succeed as they have.

A cycle of stories hidden from the daughters

When I flipped through the stories in front of each section, it gave me an idea of the larger cycles that are occurring in the book. I discovered that there is a traditional cycle of generations between American and Chinese cultures, closely intertwined with rebellious mother-daughter relationships. They begin with the mothers’ exposure to America, then the daughters’ exposure to America, following the conflict of the mothers’ teachings and the desire for freedom, but in the end, the daughters become like their mother, or at last come to a peace. This giant cycle is the basis of the whole book- it can be seen in all the sections of the book: Feathers From a Thousand Li Away, The Twenty-Six Malignant Gates, American Translation, and Queen Mother of the Western Skies. An interesting cycle repeated in the Joy Luck Club is that the mothers are reluctant to retell the stories of their histories to their daughters.

In the chapter, Waiting Between the Trees, Ying Ying St. Clair has the ability to foresee activities before they happen. Ever since she was a girl, she was known as the tiger girl, always having the fierce spirit. But this spirit was taken away from her when her first husband, the one she loved so much, cheated on her. Ying Ying even killed the baby boy in her womb because of the vengeance she felt towards her husband. Eventually, in America she married Saint but loved him differently- she compares this love to a ghost’s love, having a lover’s gratitude, but no desire or appetite in the relationship. All this was not told to her daughter; finally she decides, “Now Saint is a ghost. He and I can now love equally. He knows the things I have been hiding all these years. Now I must tell my daughter everything. That she is the daughter of a ghost. She has no chi. This is my greatest shame. How can I leave this world without leaving her my spirit?” (p.252). Ying ying’s secret is her past, her shame of loosing her chi- or her ferocious spirit, that had changed her from a tiger to a ghost. After her husband’s death, she realized that she needs to tell her daughter this secret in order to leave her daughter her own spirit, so Lena can become successful in her relationship. Shame prevented Ying Ying from teaching her daughter her own past and an important lesson on confidence and strength.

Suyuan, Jing-Mei’s mother, refused to tell her past not because of shame, but because of the love for her family. In the first chapter, The Joy Luck Club, the four mothers of the club always brags to one another about the great virtues in their daughters. They pray that the joy, luck, and hope they had brought to America are passed on from their daughters and down the generations. Suyuan did not tell her daughter about her two abandoned babies in Kweilin, until she used it as a lesson to teach her daughter to be grateful of what she has currently. After Suyuan’s death and when the babies were found, Auntie Ying Ying tells Jing-Mei briefly about her mother, “Your mother was a very strong woman, a good mother. She loved you very much, more than her own life. And that’s why you can understand why a mother like this could never forget her other daughters. She knew they were alive, and before she died she wanted to find her daughters in China” (p. 39). I believe Suyuan desired to keep her story from her family only temporarily to possibly attempt to protect her daughter. She is unsure of both her daughter’s and husband’s reaction so she hides it from them. The Chinese mothers all hid their past before they migrated to America because they are unsure how their children will view them since they’re in a different environment.

My Uncle's Accident

Tracing back the history of my family, it all ends up in my home country- China. My mother’s story stretched all the way back to the Mao Period. My grandmother from my mom’s side told her this story.

My grandmother was still a young girl, around the age of twenty-five or so. She had a sum of seven siblings, and she was the oldest. She had three younger brothers and three younger sisters. There were huge gaps of age difference between them, but they were still close. She gave herself the responsibility of raising her siblings, from when they were babies to adults. This task was not easy, and eventually gave her the heart of a mother at a very young age. Even with the time that she spent with my three sisters and I since we were born to when she passed away two years ago, I always felt a more motherly side from my grandma than from my mom. I enjoy this side of my grandma and I could not have guessed that she gained her motherliness from being a mother at a young age.

As my mother explained to me tonight, “During the Mao Period, no one was richer than the others. Everyone was equally poor.” The entire country suffered from poverty, although not enough to kill the people, but there were definitely not enough to eat to fill stomachs. There was only one main meal each day- dinner. For breakfast and lunch, people ate porridge and vegetables. The children in the family mostly had elementary school education.

But it was unavoidable that my great-grandpa (my grandmother's dad) was one of the target of Mao's people. All educated people were victims to his torturing. They were dangerous to Mao because they had the abilities to read and write and could possibly overcome him. My great-grandpa was a doctor who was forced to perform a devious ritual every night. Every night, Mao's men would cuff the hands of a several victims, forced them in a hunched position to roam the streets of their town. As they passed, villagers would insult them and litter trash on them. Some of them were even forced to kneel on shattered glass. My mom says that worst of all, my great-grandpa was not allowed to raise his head. I do not know if those citizens know what was going on, but surely what they said to him was pernicious. My great-grandpa eventually built a very tough layer of skin and I admire him for this. It certainly leads me to respect my current government and be grateful of it all.

One day, my third Uncle, or more clearly known as my Grandma’s third youngest brother, was riding a train to the city. The train transported sugar to markets all over China. It rides up a steep hill that runs high, like a roller coaster. He stood in the train, resting on the side panel. The train sped through rugged earth, turning sharp corners when suddenly his body flew backwards. The abrupt change of direction caught all the passengers by surprise. Jolts, one after another, tipped seats- people lost balance, fell to the ground. From outside the window, one could see that the carts had become disconnected and was falling straight down hill. All about were screaming and panicking from all age groups. A bunch of passengers summoned up the idea of jumping out of the train. Everyone was in a life and death situation. The escape plan to jump was the only way out of the train, but was it safer? My Uncle hesitated, watching others tumble off the train, screaming. The train was rapidly approaching a small house completely built of boulders. He didn’t dare waste another moment and jumped out of the accelerating vehicle. The plan was not successful; many people lost their lives, others were injured severely. Even those who remained in the train did not survive; the train eventually crashed into the small boulder house near the hill. My Uncle was among the severely injured.

The news of the incident reached my Grandma. Her mind created thousands of horrible endings of her brother. She sat waiting for the news in a frantic state. Worries reproduced in her head until she could no longer stand waiting and not acting. Finally, in tears, my grandmother summoned their neighbor, a deeply Christian old woman, to pray together at my Grandma’s house. The Christian woman calmed my grandma. They recited pieces from the bible, with heads nodded slightly lower, and hands placed on their laps. They sat for several minutes praying; asking God for hope that my Uncle was still alive and well, begging God to bring my Uncle home safely from this incident. After they were both done, the old Christian lady raised her head back and told my Grandma sullenly, “His left leg is already gone”. To this day, no one knows how she had foretold my Uncle’s injury. It is believed that she had envisioned my Uncle’s situation during the depth of her prayer.

The Christian lady’s supernatural ability left me speechless. It seemed so impossible for this to happen; yet it did and was absolutely correct. The only connection I could make of her “gift” is praying. This far in the story raised the question of weather becoming devoted to Christianity, (or perhaps any religion?), would help form a closer tie with God. These mystical events scare me. Even though it is possibly a useful “gift”, but because the ability cannot be explained, it is frightening. I view her as almost non-human.

Sure enough, when my Uncle jumped out of the train, surrounded by the chaos of thousands of passengers jumping, grabbing, and desperately holding on to their lives, the train shattered the small house built with boulders right after he jumped. Huge boulders shoved down the hill. My Uncle landed hardly on the soil, his body crushed against the earth. His limps landed awkwardly and twisted as he fell. With a sore body, he managed to see boulders rapidly rolling down in his direction. The boulders were the size of a large desk. He was too weak to move away. They smashed into his left leg. He was stuck in the position for several hours until rescue teams came to help. When he was rushed into the hospital, it was too late. His leg had been cut off of circulation for too long, it was already dead. On that day, the doctors amputated my Uncle’s left leg at the age of twenty.

The loosing of his leg depressed and hurt my Uncle so deeply; he tried to commit suicide multiple times. Eventually, a fake leg was made for him but he could barely walk in it and resorted to his wheelchair again. Family members took turns watching over him. The sorrow cut deep into the family- it was contagious. He had a whole life ahead of him; he was young and curious like other boys his age. The removal of his leg destroyed the eagerness he had towards life. Days in the hospital were spent doing absolutely nothing. My uncle could not see past the walls of his hospital room. My family members, all six siblings and his parents, fought to return his energy; both his physical and mental energy. Slowly and painfully, there were signs of life again. He returned home. He allowed others to spend more time with him. He began to look at himself a different way. A realization swept over him- his potential ability as a human being cannot be determined by one leg. He finally caught the awareness that he can still explore life, he can still achieve goals that seemed impossible, because he is more than his body. This lesson ultimately released him from his dreaded past and into the present that consisted of so many supportive family members. His future was no longer polluted with smoke. My Uncle returned to doing what he loved and had neglected all the years- designing furnitures by painting and stitching patterns onto them.

My family also sued the sugar transportation industry for the incident, but the company refused to take responsibilities at all. My Uncle still held his head high through it all. Furthermore, he was almost getting married. There was a girl who had a huge crush on my Uncle before the accident and supported him throughout his depressed time in the hospital. At first my Uncle did not feel he had the potential to marry a fully capable girl when he was handicapped, but at the end they got married.

Now, he has a family of two sons and one daughter, living happily in China. I rarely see him when I return to China, but when I do see him; he is using his fake leg. I am proud of my Uncle for overcoming his fear of suddenly becoming so different. It takes great strength. I admire my grandma, aunts, uncles, and his wife helping him realize the truth- that he is more than his body and sometimes life is not fair, but you just have to find a way to make it better and move on. I am glad that he found a way to make his life enjoyable again.

Amy Chua & Amy Tan

In Amy Chua's article, she expresses the difference between Chinese and Western style teachings. Chua's argument is that parents must use any technique to push their children to the best of their abilities. She does not care about her children's feelings and believes thinking this way is a waste of time. Most importantly, her techniques are generalized to all Chinese mothers and many oppose them that what she is doing is cruel. Amy Chua says,

"I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts. Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together—her right and left hands each doing their own imperturbable thing—just like that."

Amy Chua's usage of diction gives the passage a very negative connotation. She promply compares her style of teachings to weapons. She transforms a peaceful lesson to a battlefield. Possibly, because of this rough language, one may find her technique to be unacceptable and cruel. Her actions do not reveal any form of care. When she chose to yell at her child to work harder, it reveals no understanding of her child's struggle. Despite all this, her tactic was successful. Underneath all the screaming, threatening, and forcing, is the real lesson. Amy Chua is trying to teach her children that you must try as many times possible and don't give up easily. She is trying to say, "Practice makes perfect".

In the novel, The Joy Luck Club, the author Amy Tan writes a similar scenario in her vignette "Half and Half". An-mei's daughter, Rose could never set her mind on anything; she can neither make trite or important decisions. In her childhood years, she lost her little brother, Bing, because she did not know whether to drop everything she was doing and save Bing from the monstrous waves on the beach, or continue to follow her mother's order of breaking up her other brothers' fight. She was the only one who saw Bing slowly being lured into the river with every step, yet she stood there thinking up a decision. In her current life, her husband Ted, is divorcing her because she is not able to make up her mind about anything. Rose blurted,

"I know now that I had never expected to find Bing, just as I know now I will never find a way to save my marriage. My mother tells me, though that I should still try.

               "What's the point?" I say. "There's no hope. There's no reason to keep trying."
               "Because you must," She says. "This is your fate. This is your life, what you must do."
                                                                                                               (Amy Tan p.130)

Throughout her life, Rose never made an effort to make the decision to at least try and solve the problems in her life. Perhaps it is low self esteem , the belief that there is nothing that can be done to change, that drives her decisions all these years. However, An-mei pushes her to keep trying. She wants to teach Rose that anything can be done as long as you put your mind to it. An-mei's technique in teaching is by talking through to her daughter thoughtfully, instead of using force. Her technique eventually worked as well, because in the end Rose finally understood that "You must undo the expectation" by trying harder until the expectation of becoming unsuccessful is defeated.

Therefore, Amy Tan support Amy Chua's argument that parents must push their children to try harder and don't give up. However, the main difference between them is the way they teach. Amy Chua enslaves her children until they have tried their best, while Amy Tan believes in discussing and encouraging.
                                                                                                 

Amy Tan's 2nd Intoduction Story

In the beginning of the second section, Amy Tan's short introductory piece serves as the overall, main message that she wants the reader to understand. The short story tells of a daughter who ignores her mother's warnings to not ride her bike around the corner where she might fall and no one would hear her cry out. The mother's predictions were correct and her daughter fell shortly after the conversation ended. I believe her lesson is this: One needs a supporter to learn from in order to succeed; at least until a specific age.

In the first story, "Rules of The Game", at a young age, Waverly Jong is obsessed with the chess. With her mother's support, she eventually became the best Chinese player in Chinatown; winning home trophy after trophy. However, their relationship began to falter. Waverly's mom enjoy bragging about her daughter's success to others- embarrassing Waverly. Waverly exclaimed her feelings rudely and ran away from home. In the end of the story, she returns home and is left alone in her bedroom with no more support from her mother. In her mind, she pictured her mother as her chess opponent. She says,

" Her black men advanced across the plain, slowly marching to each successive level as a single unit. My white pieces screamed as they scurried and fell off the board one by one" (p.101).

In her mind, her mother is in control of the game and is defeating her. Since Waverly is definitely better at chess than many people and also her mother, this ironic scene symbolized that her mother was the creator of Waverly herself. Her mother's encouragements and strengths allowed Waverly to become the champion she is today. From her mother, she learned how to succeed. However, in the last paragraph, she proved that she doesn't need her mother any longer and is able to advance. She says,

"I felt myself growing light. I rose up into the air and flew out the window. Higher and higher, above the alley, over the tops of tilted roofs, where I was gathered up by the wind and pushed up toward the night sky until everything below me disappeared and I was alone. I closed my eyes and pondered my next move" (p.101).

The freedom Waverly feels is independence. Her mother has taught her success, which can also be the success of becoming independence. She feels that she has the strength that her mother processed, the strong wind, and that she is able to continue her passion alone. The comparison of her new found freedom and chess infer that she has regained strength and is still able to rise when she falls. This story shows that the daughter's gained success and independence from her mother, and now is able to move on by herself.